How I Silenced My Inner Critic Through Naming & Shaming

Whether you’re a successful founder, high achieving executive, recognizable artist, or a young rising star in some industry, more than likely, you’ve still got a raging inner critic stabbing you in the back day in and day out.

Dall-e’s rendition of an inner critic

I know I did. I was building my company — nearly 7 years into what was becoming a raging success — and I was plagued by a horrible inner monologue that was telling me I was a total loser who wouldn’t amount to anything. It was crazy.

One day it struck me that this inner critic was saying the opposite of what was reality.

So I did the following — and since that day the critic has been largely silent. I strongly encourage you to do the following if you’re suffering from this type of toxic self-sabotage. Let me know how it goes!

Here’s the exercise: Simply name your inner critic (I called him Retep which is my name backward because he’s the opposite of me) and follow the steps in the letter I wrote seven years ago that silenced him.

The Fight

Dear Retep,

Over the past few years (perhaps my whole life), you and I have been going head-to-head every day on a number of issues. I want this letter to serve as notice that I’m in the process of transitioning you out of the system in order to a) help my company thrive b) be a happier person and c) realize my potential as an enlightened being capable of compassion and unlimited empathy for those around me. In order to excommunicate you, so to speak, my process includes the following:

1. Naming and shaming
2. Codify the goal
3. Define the details
4. Correcting the misinformation you propagate
5. Develop a set of behaviors to expedite your removal

Are you ready? I am.

Naming and Shaming

I’ve named you Retep, which is my name backward — you are not my alter-ego, but my ANTI-ego. You work to hold me back on a daily basis because you are lesser than me. You are my shadow. You are a coward.

You’re petty. Selfish. Childish. Lazy. Parasitic. Callous. Passive. And full of fear.

You are all of the things I am not.

I am generous. Wise. Helpful. Caring. Proactive. Brave. Loving. Kind. Mindful.

You are a loser. You will never be anything. In fact I’m going to destroy you with this process.

I, on the other hand, am very successful. I’m on the path to greatness. Each day I deliver huge amounts of passion, energy and value into the world for the benefit of those around me.

You do not. You snipe from the sidelines. You’re a coward and try to pull me into the shadows. You pull me down to the couch. You are afraid I’ll leave you behind.

I am, in fact, leaving you behind. Every keystroke in this letter is a small nail in your coffin. I don’t know how you latched on to me — you’re a black bloody leach sucking off my lifeblood. I’m too strong for you. I’m too brave. I can see your tricks. I can see your game. You little troll. You golem. How did you think you could beat me?

How did I ever let you slow me down for this long?

Retep, you’re a little toad. You slug. You leach. You’re nothing. FUCK YOU.

Codify the Goal

My goal is to starve you Retep. I’m going to crush you into dust.

In doing so, I will minimize the negative monkey mind chatter you propagate in my everyday. I will become happier, healthier, and even more successful and loving. I’m going to leave you behind. You’re not me. You are a shadow of my ego.

The goal is no less than to live an excellent life and to reach the potential I’ve always seen — since I was very little — to be a magnanimous leader capable of doing great good in the world.

Define the Details

One of my favorite quotes is by Pablo Neruda: “everyday you play with the light of the universe”. My anti-ego is the opposite. Every day, my anti-ego plays with the darkness of my world. Here are some examples, starting with my thoughts, and Retep’s response:

• When someone says, “Peter, you are so creative/talented/smart!” You say, “No, you’re not Peter. You’re nothing special.”
• When someone says, “Peter, you helped me so much. You’re so kind and generous.” You say, “You didn’t do anything but say whatever came to mind at the time. You’re only helping people so you can make money and be famous. You’re a parasite.”
• When I think, “It’s nice out, why don’t I get some exercise?” You say, “You’re too tired and fat. Just rest up, big guy.”
• You tell me all day that I’m ugly. Fat. Stupid. Underachieving. Wasting my life. Generating no value. Lacking character. Lacking wisdom.
• You are my worst enemy. You’re my biggest detractor—most frequent critic.

You don’t know me. You only know what would make you feel comfortable — a diminished Peter so you can have company in your depressive cave.

Correct the Misinformation

The reality is that in spite of you, Retep, I have done, will do, and am the following:

• I’ve studied and graduated from the best schools in the country.
• I’ve built an incredible company with incredible employees, clients, and collaborators.
• I’ve outshone nearly all of my peers. When people from HS or college think of successful classmates, I’m always on their minds.
• I’ve helped 10s of 1000s of people and take great satisfaction from helping merely for the sake of helping.
• I’ve cultivated a powerful network of kind and honorable people all over the world.
• I’ve shunned and kept away negative people and things masterfully.
• I’m incredibly generous.
• I’m incredibly smart.
• I’ve got tons of energy and can do anything I set my mind to.
• I’ve cultivated significant wisdom and share it with the world.
• I’m supremely confident and can thrive in the most difficult situations.
• The world is a better place for having me in it.
• The world is a better place for having me in it.
• The world is a better place for having me in it.
• I will be the best version of myself as often as possible for the benefit of me and the world.
• I will die a happy man, having left a positive impact across the globe.

Develop a set of behaviors to expedite your removal

Here’s how I’m going to crush you, Retep. You little shit. You fucking slug.

• When I hear your voice I will label it as Retep and ignore it.
• I will then consciously tell myself what the reality is.
• I will win each moment that we do battle. You will lose as often as possible. One day you will always lose.
• I’ll keep track of how often you win. I will reduce that number over time.
• I will fight you every day. I will look in the mirror and if I see you I will call you out. I will push you out with positive affirmations.
• I will push myself in my interactions with others to ensure you don’t have a say in how I behave. I will make the most out of every minute I have with people.

You’re going bye-bye bitch.

Yours truly,

Peter Corbett

I read that letter recently to a coaching client who was suffering greatly from a battle with his sabotage. He’s writing his own letter now and I promised I’d share mine with the world. I hope this exercise kills a ton of critics out there. Let me know if it does!

🙏🏻